I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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