Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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