If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
