I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
