I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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