I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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