I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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