I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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