one two three fourrrrnication!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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