the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
