i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
