Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
