i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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