everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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