I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
