im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
