Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
