so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
