god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
