I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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