When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
