HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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