it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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