don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
smell my finger.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
