i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
