he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
