Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
that may or may not have been my penis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
