u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
