Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
