you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
