i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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