we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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