you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
