he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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