there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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