Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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