Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
