i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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