16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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