dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You are the jesus of drinking
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The air taste purple.
Randomize
