ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
