I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
