I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
