I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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