I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
