Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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