if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I will pee on everything he values.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
its liver damage thursday
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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