pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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