So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
