Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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