i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
