so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize